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Monday, July 6, 2015

Not every day is...

Not every day is perfect. Not every day is beautiful. Not every moment is happy.

Today, I had an off day. I think most of us have those days, where things just feel off. Is it the pregnancy? Maybe. Or the hormones? Possibly. Is it anxiety starting to rear its ugly head? Totally possible. Either way, today was an off day.

Not to say I didn't have a "good" day in the grand scheme of life. I hung out with my parents, read a part of my parenting book ( always so riveting), had dinner with my mom ( in which I had a sip of her Rhombuer Chardonnay, and oh it is so good! Cant wait to get my hands on that in 16 weeks and 5 days, who's counting!?) Needless to say, if someone else were to look at my day, they would say "Not half bad." And for some reason, I couldn't get myself out of this funk. I couldn't get myself to appreciate my day. On my drive home from my parents, I threw on some Zac Brown to lighten the mood and made myself think of what I am grateful for. I won't bore you with the details, but I have ALOT to be grateful for. And still... in a funk.

I got home and planned on vegging on the couch until bed time but forced myself, literally FORCED myself, to practice pranayama and meditation. My body literally ached as a sat on my mediation pillow but I knew if I could just breath that maybe I would feel better.

After all of that, I wish I could say I am feeling great, but I am still not. AND, I will tell you that I now have accepted my sadness and acknowledged it is there. And, I am okay with it. Honestly, I can't tell you why it is there but I can tell you that I will be okay. You will be okay.

I guess what Im trying to say is, it is okay to be sad, to be down and out, to be blah. It is a part of life. What the challenging part is, is to be okay with it and not dwell on those feelings for long. It is so easy to dwell, I get that. And it is 100 times harder to realize your potential and come out of it. I get that too.

A quote from Everyday Peace, Letters for Life by Baba Hari Dass, really helped me acknowledge my sorrow. "Life is for living and then leaving. As long as you live in this reality, accept it. Sometimes you may feel sad, but it's all part of life." It is all part of life.

Again, this blog isn't meant to be right or wrong, it is just a place for me to share and maybe to connect.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. Om Peace, Peace, Peace.


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