I had the pleasure of being in one of my best friends weddings this weekend. The couple are my great friends from college, and it was a true honor to be a part of their beautiful wedding in Santa Barbara. It is a trend, when I go to weddings, I get asked this question often, " How did it change when you got married?" It is an interesting question, and my answer remains the same, just as it did the day I said my vows to my husband three years ago, " Nothing changed."
Yes, I am married. I am one of those people who loves being married, a wife and a life partner to a man who I would call my best friend. When I say "nothing changed", I tend to get some mixed reactions. Some, question my logic, "Isn't it supposed to change, you are married now, doesn't it make it more serious, more real?" My answer to that is, why would it? If you are in a relationship with someone for a certain amount of time, for me it was six years, and then you decide to put a ring on it and sign a piece of paper, why would that emotionally be more serious, more real? What were you doing the last 6 years that wasn't it making it just that?
My stance on marriage is, if you love someone and make a choice to spend the rest of your life with them, then the act of "getting married", should not make your relationship change or get better. Your partner should make you laugh the same way they did before, make you cry with the joy the same way, make sarcastic comments the same way, and at times make you want to throw something at them the same way. There should be no shift of feeling or emotions after getting married, no change of heart or acceptance after getting married. That should already be there.
Now, this brings me to my very admit stance on how each person on this planet and in this universe is created equal, and everyone who chooses to get married should have the right to do so. Just because I feel it should not change the emotional relationship, does not mean I think marriage is a shame. I love being married, and I feel everyone who wants to be a part of the joy of being married to a person FOR THEMSELVES, should get the option to do so. No law or book should stop two people from wanting to spend the rest of their lives with each other. It is a personal choice to spend your life with another person. Love is not bought, borrowed or sold. Love is everywhere, love is for everyone and that is something we should never deny due to sexual orientation.
Marriage is not about your family, your friends, your career, your future. Marriage is about right now. The relationship that you choose to have with your partner right now. If you are living in the moment of marriage and continue to unconditionally love another through those moments, then marriage is exactly what it is meant to be, true unconditional love forever.