Live Through Consciousness, Not Through Emotions

"Live through consciousness, not through emotions". This is the quote I looked down at as I made my "stress relieving" tea this evening. This quote spoke loudly to me. I often read the yogi quotes that are on tea bag ends and smile, but tonight, it spoke. How do we live through our consciousness, and not through our emotions? What is consciousness, and where do our emotions come from? These questions began to formulate in my mind as a contemplated this simple yet ever so powerful quote.

What is consciousness? From my training on the mountain, it is a state of mind in which we are one with the universe, where we are our true selves. How do we get there and why would we want to be there? Both such great questions to ask, and I feel there could be many answers to each. Here is my take on them.

How do we get there, regular sadhana, of course. Sadhana is a spiritual regular personal practice to find our purpose in life. Sadhana can be done through mediation, pranayama, asana practice ( yoga in western terms), praying, reading, singing, listening to music, dancing, running, and so on. Whatever vessel clears your mind of your ego's chatter, brings you to the present moment and allows you to find your truth.

Now knowing sadhana, the question is, why? My question back is, why not? Every being on this planet has a purpose. Whether it is big or small, every person can impact another in a positive light. The question is, is that something you are doing in your life right now? That doesn't mean your audience is 10,000 people, or maybe it is, which is great! Or, it could mean you are babysitting one child and you make a true, positive inspiring influence in their life through your actions. That is just as powerful. We are here on this planet to be one with our mother earth, to help each other, to be happy and to be Love. This is why we have a regular sadhana practice, to bring us to our truth.

Going back to the quote, our consciousness is the essence of being. The place of being that is true bliss, our truth in life. On the other hand, our emotions is our ego raising its big head and reacting to our circumstances. There is a difference between reacting versus responding. Reacting is being in a state of judgement, placing blame on others and "playing victim" to circumtance. To respond is to take full ownership of your own actions, come from a place of nothing and bring your best self to the situation. When we allow our emotions to speak for us, we are reacting. When we react, we are allowing our ego to jump first, yelling, kicking and screaming for a perceived reality that is not real, nor valid and true. When we respond, we are coming form a place of nothing and in turn allowing our consciousness to lead our response. To allow our consciousness to respond, we save ourselves from the reaction of our emotions.

Oh, how a little quote on a tea bag tag could strike such an elaborate conversation with myself and in turn, something I get to share with you all. What a beautiful world we live in.

Namaste.

As John Muir Would Say

The Sierra Peaks - View from him to Cloud's Rest

"Walk away quietly in any direction and taste the freedom of the mountaineer. Camp out among the grasses and gentians of glacial meadows, in craggy garden nooks full of nature's darlings. Climb the mountains and get their good tidings, Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves. As age comes on, one source of enjoyment after another is closed, but nature's sources never fail." - Our National Parks, John Muir

This quote, written by the naturalist, explorer, writer and conservationist, John Muir, is one that fills my soul. I believe that nature is medicine. When was the last time you trudged up a mountain peak, and felt the weight of natures gravity as you stepped one foot carefully in front of another? When was the last time you took a deep clean breath of natures fresh air in your lungs as you marveled at her vast valleys? When was the last time you allow the breeze of natures breath blow through your hair and past your skin as you sat peacefully on top her peaks? Nature truly is medicine to the body, mind and spirit. 

"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul alike." - The Yosemite, John Muir. 

Nature is a one of the greatest forms of medicine you can take. Nature is vast, always growing, always adapting and always relentless. I have just come back from visiting Yosemite for my second time this year, and I continue to be in awe of its pure beauty. The granite slabs that grow up to 10,000 feet are so magnificently carved out by the glacier that passed through them thousands of years ago. I love to be present with them. The things they have witnessed, and the beauty they have created. It is so magical, so real. 

Half Dome in background, hike to Cloud's Rest

"The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness." - John of the Mountain, John Muir. 

The yogini within me is always trying to find a place to practice and meditate. Nature is the greatest place to do that in my opinion. Nature provides a realness of our world that is untouched by so many of us. We are so drawn in by the lights, sounds and safety of our cities that most of us rarely explore the beauty that is our earth. Yosemite provides a type of nature that remains magnificent to the beholders eye. Though tourism is a part of its culture in the valley, hike past the falls and up the steep mountain switchbacks to find life at its most real. The depths of the wilderness can be scary, and the most safe and comforting place I know. 

Backpacker love to each other 

"Most people are on the world, not in it -- have no conscious sympathy or relationship to anything about them -- undiffused, separate, and rigidly alone like marbles of polished stone, touching but separate." - John of the Mountains, John Muir. 

As our dear friend John would say, choose to be in it. Choose to be with it. Take your practice outside, be with her. Take care of her and love her. She is a beauty that has seen more then you will ever know and will see more than you will ever know. Be in awe of her. 

Namaste

Why I Practice Yoga

I was scrolling through social media this morning. I happened to realize how many buzzfeeds I receive about yoga, top reason why you should practice, top 5 things you shouldn't say in a yoga class, top 20 reasons you should practice a headstand, top 10 reasons why you shouldn't practice a headstand, etc. It got me thinking, why does any of that matter? Yoga is first and foremost a personal practice. Any top 10 list should not define what makes you practice or not practice yoga. There is no list of rights or wrongs, of does or don'ts, or yeses or nos, there is only yoga.

The best way for me to explain this logic is to tell you why I practice yoga, not to be relatable or inspiring but because that is all I know.

Hike on JMT, Yosemite

When I first began my yoga practice, I began to gain flexibility. This a a very common reason why one chooses to go to a yoga class, and after a few classes I definitely began to see the benefits in my body. I could touch my toes, I could bend my knees without pain, I could sit indian style with a straight spine without my lower back killing me. I felt the benefits of yoga in my physical body, and I liked it. Though, I still did not understand why laying on the floor at the end of the class in silence was beneficial to my body, or why we would take so much take before the practice setting "an intention". I wanted to just get into the poses and sweat.

Rewind just for a moment - I have anxiety. Yes, I have a mental disability that turns into physical manifestations in my body that at times can be very uncontrollable and uncomfortable. Not wanting to pop a pill to help my issue, I began to think of yoga as a form of medicine. I began to realize that this "exercise" that I was practicing my not only be great for my joints, but also for my mind. Then, one practice changed everything.

Hike at Uvas Canyon

My very talented brother in law, who was my first inspiration to practice yoga, taught at my work for an event. As I was organizing and leading this event, my anxiety kicked into overdrive. Luckily, I did not need to be doing anything during the practice, so I choice to take it with everyone else. I wish I could remember the exact words that he said, but he began the practice with us clearing our minds, letting go of our stresses and worries and being completely present to our mats in that moment. I can not tell you how many times prior to that an instructor told me "to be present", but finally in this moment I was ready to do so. The practice itself was beautiful, every pose was exactly what my mind and body needed and for the first time I was not comparing myself to the person next to me. I was focusing on linking my breath to my pose.

Then, the magic happened. We began savasana and he played a soundtrack to a movie that I have since then been searching for. This song resented in my whole body. I felt the melting away of my stress of perfection, I felt my body become lighter with each second. I was not thinking, I was being. Tears rolled down my face and at that moment I realized what yoga was all about, that moment. The moment of universal bliss, where what you are doing, who you are with and where you are does not matter. All that matters is that moment, that instance. I felt so close to god, so close to the universe.

Hike to Eagle Lake, Tahoe

Now, I will say, I have not experienced that moment since. I have lived on a mountain for month, meditating every morning and learning all the best practices to search samadhi. I have backpacked on gorgeous mountains that preexisted for centuries before my existence. I have sat on the beaches of Maui with the warm blue waters touching my feet. I have done all these things, and still have never gotten back to that moment of universe bliss. Why do I keep searching? Why do I keep trying to find a moment that may never happen again? Because I have to. Because yoga is not about the destination, it is about the practice. It is about the journey.

I may never feel that place of bliss again, and I am complete with that. Why do I practice yoga, because each day holds a new journey, a new adventure, a new struggle to overcome. My purpose is to live with it, to challenge myself to continue to be a part of it. Trust me, I have my struggles. My anxiety will choose to rear its ugly head often, and every time it does, it gives me another opportunity to live in the present and to practice yoga. For me, yoga is the door to universe bliss and my practice is the key.

Namaste.

Until Death Do Us Part

The sanctity of marriage. You can get mixed feelings and emotions from saying the word "marriage". Some may cringe at the word, as others may blissfully be content with their future partner or current one.

I had the pleasure of being in one of my best friends weddings this weekend. The couple are my great friends from college, and it was a true honor to be a part of their beautiful wedding in Santa Barbara. It is a trend, when I go to weddings, I get asked this question often, " How did it change when you got married?" It is an interesting question, and my answer remains the same, just as it did the day I said my vows to my husband three years ago, " Nothing changed."

Yes, I am married. I am one of those people who loves being married, a wife and a life partner to a man who I would call my best friend. When I say "nothing changed", I tend to get some mixed reactions. Some, question my logic, "Isn't it supposed to change, you are married now, doesn't it make it more serious, more real?" My answer to that is, why would it? If you are in a relationship with someone for a certain amount of time, for me it was six years, and then you decide to put a ring on it and sign a piece of paper, why would that emotionally be more serious, more real? What were you doing the last 6 years that wasn't it making it just that?

My stance on marriage is, if you love someone and make a choice to spend the rest of your life with them, then the act of "getting married", should not make your relationship change or get better. Your partner should make you laugh the same way they did before, make you cry with the joy the same way, make sarcastic comments the same way, and at times make you want to throw something at them the same way. There should be no shift of feeling or emotions after getting married, no change of heart or acceptance after getting married. That should already be there.

Now, this brings me to my very admit stance on how each person on this planet and in this universe is created equal, and everyone who chooses to get married should have the right to do so. Just because I feel it should not change the emotional relationship, does not mean I think marriage is a shame. I love being married, and I feel everyone who wants to be a part of the joy of being married to a person FOR THEMSELVES, should get the option to do so. No law or book should stop two people from wanting to spend the rest of their lives with each other. It is a personal choice to spend your life with another person. Love is not bought, borrowed or sold. Love is everywhere, love is for everyone and that is something we should never deny due to sexual orientation.

Marriage is not about your family, your friends, your career, your future. Marriage is about right now. The relationship that you choose to have with your partner right now. If you are living in the moment of marriage and continue to unconditionally love another through those moments, then marriage is exactly what it is meant to be, true unconditional love forever.

Namaste.

All You Need is Love

I love nature, my husband, my family and my life

Words used so often in books, quotes, songs,  scriptures, magazines, social media, even on a tattoo ( that would be me.) But, have you ever sat down and actually thought about what all those words mean, both separately and together. I love meditating to this groups of words, and I wanted to share with all of you what they mean to me.

All. Literally all-encompassing, everything, the space you are sitting in, the space I am sitting in, the world we live in, the house we grew up in. I could keep going, because all means everything and anything.

You. That is who you are. Who are you? If you ask yourself who you are, what manifests? For me, it is wife, daughter, and future mother. What are we really? We can be so many things if we choose to be. We can be happy, we can be sad, we can be loving, we can be kind. Who are you choosing to be. Remember, circumstances do not count with that question. For once, do not use excuses of why you are WHO you are. Just think about, who you are, what do you give to the world and the human race?

Need. Need is a loaded word for me. There is a fine line between the words NEED and WANT. I have a great tendency to want lots of things. And I continue to questions myself, " Do I really need this?" Most of the time, the answer is "no." What do you need in life? What are the essential pieces to existence that keep you happy, and alive?

Love. What a beautiful word, love. This tiny yet truly powerful word can bring such pure happiness to ones life and at the same time can bring extreme agony. What does love mean to you? Love is everything is me, it is ALL. It is life, it is my existence. If I have love, then I have it all. If I give love, then I have it all. Love is what separates human's from the rest of the species on this earth. What a special thing to have. The realization that you unconditionally would give feelings of bliss, happiness and care to another person is love. Most importantly, do you love yourself? At the end of the day, all we have is ourselves. Love yourself, smile in the mirror and thank yourself for being here, for being apart of this journey called life.

Now, after going over each word and then put all of these words together, " All you need is love", there power together is overwhelming. Literally, all you need, is love. To live on this earth, all you need to love. To be happy, all you need is love. To be successful, all you need to love. To be the exact person you are, all you need is love. Because, love is all we need.

Namaste.

Searching...

Just above Glacier Point - view of Half Dome

When was the last time you stood in the beauty that is Nature? When was the last time you looked up at the stars and became lost in the presence of the Cosmos? When was the last time your cell phone read "searching..." for service? When was the last time you went "searching.." for yourself? Well, this past weekend, my husband and I decided to do all of these things in Yosemite National Forest to celebrate our third year of marriage.

Backstory - My husband grew up in the country. His family lived on acreage for a majority of his childhood. He learned how to shoot a bow in diapers and being outdoors was how him and his brothers spent their time together. For me, the most time I spent in Nature was when I would go camping with my family or to the Been cabin. Don't get me wrong, I loved spending time with my family, but sleeping in a tent and getting dirty wasn't exactly my cup of tea when I was young.

Swimming in Vernal Falls

Fast forward - One year from now, September 2015, my goal is to backpack the JMT with my husband and any friends who want to embrace the wild journey with me. The JMT ( John Muir Trail) is a 220.8 mile hike in the California Sierra Wilderness, beginning at Happy Isles Trailhead in Yosemite National Forest and ending atop of Mt. Whitney. This trip so not for the faint of heart, ranging from 8,000 - 14,000 ft of elevation. 

John Muir Trail Sign

So the question is, what changed for me? How did I go from " camping, no thank you" to " let's backpack up a mountain with 45 lbs attached to my back" ? Well, there are two main reasons for this change in perspective. First, my husband. He is one who faces his fears and chooses to live a life he loves. His love for the outdoors has inspired me to truly embrace my own fears of it. He has taught me that once you embrace your fear, your life can begin. I have a new found deep appreciation and love for Nature and it comes from his charisma for life.

Man of the Wild

The second reason, yoga. Yoga has taught me to embrace what life offers, and to see the beauty that exists in the present. Yoga continues to lead me on a universal path to love and peace. It has taught me that happiness is a state of being that you choose, not that is placed upon you. Being up on the mountain for a month of yoga training allowed me to truly embrace Nature. To glance up at the trees, look up at the stars, be in awe of the moon, and to BE Nature. With yoga, comes Nature. With Nature, comes yoga.

Just above Taft Point - a view that will truly take your breath away

The point of this blog is to reintroduce the glory that is right outside your front door. Go outside today, hike up a trail, look up at the moon and thank the universe for blessing your human lives with such pure beauty. Remember, we are visitors to this place, so let's treat it as such. Please, pack out your trash and treat Nature as if you would your own home.

Taft Point

McCurk Meadows

I will leave you with a quote written by John Muir, "Presently you lose consciousness of your own separate existence: you blend with the landscape, and become part and parcel of nature." Embrace the beauty that is Nature, and choose to be present with it. Find the beauty in Nature, and you will find the beaty within yourself. Namaste.

Hiking up first portion of JMT

Yoga and Running, oh my!

For the first time in months, I went on a run. Yes, two feet to the pavement, actual run. My body, surprisingly, kept up with me. I was utterly suprised by this. Normally by the first mile my left knee begins to whine and my hip begins to beg my to stop. As I passed mile one with out pain, I smiled. I smiled because I knew yoga helped my get to this painless place, and what I journey it was been to get here.

Side note: I used to be a "runner". I have ran many half marathons, completed several triathlons and truly enjoyed the thrill of the race. Unfortunately, two years ago my body decided the repetitive pounding on pavement was not going to work for my knees and hips. My last half marathon lead me to a stress fracture in my foot as well as tendentious in my toes.

These injuries are one reason why I began to practice yoga. I heard from many of my fellow runners and trainers that yoga was great to increase flexibility and decrease pain. After I few classes, I understood but was not completely convinced. I was not after a couple months of going to classes and beginning to understand the true purpose of yoga, that I knew yoga was a practice I wanted in my life.

My goal is to get back to running and completing triathlons by next year. In order to do these things, I know the practice of yoga will be my biggest support. There are hours of training one needs to put into races. Along with those hours of training, my largest task will be to come back to my mat, clear my mind, and practice my union with the universe. Will it be easy? Probably not. But as we all know, with pain comes pleasure and with pleasure comes pain. My pain will be in running, my pleasure will be in my practice.

After my run today, I took 10 minutes to practice a few poses that lengthen my hamstrings and iliopsoas ( two major muscles used while running, walking and hiking that begin to shorten after major use).

Quadricep stretch:

This stretch is very popular, and I am sure you have all seen this stretch at some point in life. One thing to remember to practicing this stretch, keep both of our knees aligned and focus on posteriorly tilting your pelvis ( pull navel in toward your spine). You will find a deeper stretch by remembering to do those two things. 

Hasta Padasana: Forward fold

A pose that so many of us are familiar with from our yoga classes, and it also is great for real sing hamstrings and lower back. When practicing forward fold, make sure to lengthen your spine before folding completely. It is helpful to think of brining your rib cage toward your thighs and look through your shins. Do not force this pose, and please allow your knees to have a slight bend. 

Hamstring Lengthener:

I used this fence to help give more length to my hamstrings. Note, keep spine tall and fold from your hip before relaxing into the pose. This may mean you won't go down as far but you will receive a deeper and more beneficial stretch for your hamstrings. 

Three easy stretches or poses to practice after any run. Remember to take 3 full yogic breaths during each pose and allow your body to react naturally versus forcing any deep stretches on it. Your body is very smart at telling you when to stop ( it is called pain), so please - LISTEN TO IT! And lastly, remember to thank your body for everything it does for you on a daily basis. Your body works 24/7, make sure to celebrate it! Give yourself a pad on the back, go on, do it! 

Namaste. 

Please Leave Your Shoes and Ego at the Door

In Ashtanga yoga, the word ego is mentioned often. I remember hearing the word “ego” so many times while during my month up on the mountain for my yoga teacher training. Today, while I was teaching class, I had a moment where I felt my “ego” take over and made me feel as if I needed to prove myself as an instructor. It was an interesting reaction, and after a little meditation on my this experience, and a glass of wine, I began to think, what exactly is “ego”. More importantly, what does it mean to me?

When I googled it ( because that is now a verb, right?), I found definitions such as "a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance”. That makes sense, ego is how someone see’s themselves in their society and ways in which they are contributing to their society. Self esteem, confidence, self worth, self respect, those all pop into mind when I think of the word “ego”. And, I feel there is so much more to it. 

I just read a letter out of Baba Hari Dass’s, Everyday Peace, Letters for Life, and he wrote “ Our mind is so busy in this process of giving and taking that we have no time to think Who am I? So we don’t understand ourselves and remain in ignorance, which is attachment, ego, anger, hate, jealousy and fear.” In this context, he referencing “ego” as a state of being that is not conducive for a life of peace. And I agree fully. 

Ego, for me, is an attachment to our “best” self. The self that makes more money, the self that is liked by all, the self that has 6 pack abs, the self that rolls out of bed and immediately looks fabulous. The self is our image of a picture “perfect” person in our society. But who says that our “best” self, is actually our BEST self, follow me? The ego creates a desire to be a specific person, act a specific way, make a specific amount of money, live in a specific kind house. In turn, ego creates desire and desire, when not achieved, inevitably leads to anger, sadness and self loathing. 

So how do we detach ourselves from our ego and why would we want to? Well, for me, life is purely about finding peace and happiness within your own soul. And our ego, will steer us off this peaceful journey. If we attach ourselves to being the “best” self, then it will take us so much longer to find our BEST self, which is peace, love and happiness. 

Don’t allow your attachment to “ego” to rule your existence. There are so many people who love you for exactly the person you truly are, your BEST self. Once we accept our BEST self, and detach our selves from our ego, we will find peace. 

Namaste. 

Lindsay Fortino

Mediation Unravelled

What is Mediation? 

I will assume that many of you have heard of mediation, and have heard the wide spread benefits of it, including decrease stress, decrease risk of disease, increased happiness, and so forth. When I first heard the word “meditation”, I simply thought it was to sit silently in one spot for a few minutes and just allow your mind to do what it does. My mind, for example, would be thinking of the thousand and one things that I needed to do that day and the hundred other things I needed to do the next day and how to make that person like me AND why said person needs to like, etc. 

 (Photo - Sketch from friend Paul Niles. This was my first pose for my very first "yoga challenge". )

Needless to say, after my time spent up on the mountain for my 200 Yoga Teacher Training, I learned that yes, mediation is to sit silently in one spot for a certain amount of time. But the most crucial part of meditation is to “ quiet the mind”. Now for someone who’s mind won’t shut up for even a second, this came as a very large and seemingly impossible task. And of course, with practice I began to realize that in quieting the mind I was truly able to see what was inside my mind, universal peace.

(Photo - Keihi, Maui. Pure bliss. Woke up every morning, had coffee and meditation with the ocean.)

Now, I will not lie to you, like the practice of Yoga, meditation is the same, a practice. Some days I can get to a point of quiet and peace within my mind, where thought waves just pass by like the wind on a warm spring day. Then there are days where I am playing tug a war with my myself, not only trying to sit still and stop thinking about my sore back, but also to keep my mind from straying off and thinking about everything that I feel is important at the time.  

(Photo - recently taken at Mount Madonna Center during my 200 YYT journey. )

For those who are beginning their mediation journey, I guess what I am trying to say is, it takes time. Do not beat yourself up for allowing your mind to do what it has been trained to do your whole life. Be patient with your practice, and mostly, be KIND to yourself. Kindness goes a long way, especially when you choose kindness toward your own self. Thank yourself for taking the time to mediate ( even if it is for one minute), thank your body for being still ( even it if fought you the whole time) and thank your mind for allowing you to practice an art that will lead you to universal happiness and peace. 

Namaste.

Introduction to Happiness

Happy Introduction.

Hi my name is Lindsay Fortino and I choose happiness. This can be a very tall order for one person and I choose to accept this life long journey. I choose to spread happiness, love, and peace to all those who came into my life. 

I was privileged to learn to teach the practice Ashtanga Yoga under the teachings of Baba Hari Dass at Mount Madonna Center. I met incredible human beings who I will forever honor in my heart. I learned that knowledge is life long journey. I love the practice of yoga and what it has already done for my life in the short amount of time that I have known it. 

This blog, testimony, journal, whatever you choose to call it, is the written word of my continued journey through the practice of yoga. Yoga is the union of one with the universe and I will continue to practice this union until my last breath lives my physical body. 

This blog will be personal entries from my yoga experiences, practice and life. This includes experiences in my pranayama ( breathing practices), meditation, asana (postures), and mostly everything that goes along with it. It may be funny, may be witty, my be sad and might possible be offensive to a few. AND, this is my journey that I want to share with you all. Why? Because practice is not perfect, and it never will be. You are not alone, no one person is perfect and I want you to see that we all struggle to find inner peace, even if on the outside it looks like we got it together. Cause, most of the time, we don't. So why not accept that and choose to be happy. 

I also choose to laugh, love and be happy for this life that I am blessed with and to spread all that LOVE to everyone I know. I am not saying I am perfect, nor ever want to be. I am proclaiming that life is messy, frustrating, hard, heartbreaking and f*cking painful at times. Period. End of sentence.  So then what?

This blog is my journey of my "so then what" and if each of your get just one thing out of it, I did what I set out to do. 

I honor the place in you where Spirit lives. I honor the place in you which is of Love, of Truth, of Light, of Peace, when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, then we are One. 

Namaste.